Two Cow Explanation of Government

ANARCHISM: You have two cows. You steal your neighbor’s bull and ignore the government.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government makes you register them.  You fill in 17 forms in triplicate and don’t have time to milk them.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The cows outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products. You go bankrupt.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. You let them do what they want.

PACIFISM: You have two cows. They stampede you.

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one of them and gives it to your neighbor.

REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.