After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.  And the first thing he said to them was,
"Don't."

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit?  We got forbidden fruit?"

"Hey, Eve . . .we got forbidden fruit."

"NO WAY."

"Don't eat that fruit ! said God.

"Why?"

"Because I'm your Father and I said so!" said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.
"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the God asked.

Your life is just fine so shut the fuck up

Dear god, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that ok? - Neil

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