TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income

INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.

PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid,
China for military aid,
Britain for warplanes,
Italy for machines,
Germany for technology,
France for submarines,
Switzerland for loans,
Russia for drugs and
Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with all this and claim of exploitation by the world

AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally
that nation will be a danger to mankind.
You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.

This is not something I would normally post on here, but thought this is kinda cute


There was a 5 year old girl named Emma who was in the hospital and very ill. She was there with her parents and her 8 year old brother Ethan. Emma needed a blood transfusion. Due to a major accident earlier in the day, the hospital was short on blood. Ethan was the only match. The doctor then approached Ethan and asked if he would like to have a transfusion to help Emma get better. His bottom lip quivered for a moment and he became very silent. After a few seconds of thought, his nervousness eased up and he agreed.

Later, the doctor had Emma and Ethan hooked up. They would be doing the transfusion directly from Ethan to Emma. The doctor began the procedure. Emma laid there quietly, so weak from her illness. She looked nearly dead. After a moment, Ethan looked up to the doctor. "Doctor... when do I die?"

The doctor, confounded, replied "When do you die?"

"I want to say goodbye to my sister, but I want to wait until she feels a little better. Can I wait a little bit longer, or should I tell her I love her right now?"

The doctor was struck silent. It took him a moment to understand the boy's earlier reaction. Ethan wasn't hesitating because he was afraid of the procedure. He did so because he needed a moment to accept giving up his life for his sister's. He had no idea a transfusion was a harmless procedure.

P.S. googled for cute kids. i couldnt pick one so yeah, posting without a pic. link me to a nice one?

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.  And the first thing he said to them was,
"Don't."

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit?  We got forbidden fruit?"

"Hey, Eve . . .we got forbidden fruit."

"NO WAY."

"Don't eat that fruit ! said God.

"Why?"

"Because I'm your Father and I said so!" said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.
"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the God asked.

Son: Mom! what's a gf? Mom: If you're a good boy, you'll get one when you're older. Son: What if I'm not a good boy? Mom: You'll get many. 

Best XXX Story Ever

mom don't read, sonic in ball form written by a kid, sex story, erotic novel

"Yeah, pretty much the same thing happening here."

Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tuitions: I have work for a week, so you need not come for class.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Lets spend the week together.

Grandpa (the 1st boss) make call to his secretary: This week I am spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting.

Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss has some work, we cancelled our trip.

Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tuitions: This week we will have class as usual.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I can't give you company.

Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry this week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement.

This is the actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the chief of naval operations, 10-10-95.

CANADIANS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

CANADIANS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

CANADIANS: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

AMERICANS: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

CANADIANS: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Meanwhile in Mexico...

Lesson 1
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered, "Sure, why not."

So the rabbit sat on te ground below he crow and rested.
All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.


Moral of the story
To be sitting and doing nothing you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson 2
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but i haven't got the energy."
"well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They are packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who promptly shoot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson 3
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.

While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story
1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.

Newton 's Method
Let, the lion catch you. 
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. 
Implies you caught lion. 

Einstein Method
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. 
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. 
Now you can trap it easily. 


Software Engineer Method
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. 
If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion. 


Chuck Norris Method
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. 
The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself. 


George bush method
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!


Karan Johar Method (Bollywood film director)
Send a lioness into the forest. 
Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. 
Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion. 
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. 
But 2nd lioness loves both lions. 
Now send another lioness (third) into the forest. 
You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems. 
Finally the other man said "You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation.
A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown up daughter. We got married and I got myself a step-daughter. 


Later, my father married my step-daughter. That made my step daughter my step-mother. And my father became my step-son. Also my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law. 


Much later the daughter of my wife, my step-mother, had a son. This boy was my half brother because he was my father's son. But he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grand-son. That made me the grandfather of my half brother. 


This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half sister of my son, my step-mother, is also his grandmother. This makes my father the  brother-in-law of my child, whose step-sister is my father's wife. I am my step-mother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I am my OWN GRAND FATHER!

Women Friends chatting in office.
Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours?

Woman 2: it was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?

Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.
Husband 1: How was your evening?

Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?

Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour; and when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house! After all, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!