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I recently converted to Christianity, but I really need some help?

1.) Leviticus 25:44 states that I may posses slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claimed that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2.) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3.) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Leviticus 15:19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4.) When I burn a bull on the altar as sacrifice, I know it created a pleasing odor for the Lord - Leviticus 1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5.) (Last Question) My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (Cotton/Polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Leviticus 24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Leviticus 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help. Thank you for your time and thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging!

- found this here

How to avoid getting hit by a train


How to avoid getting hit by a train

Troll Police

Traffic police in Jiangsu Province, China, have come up with a cut-price way to deter drivers from speeding. The local traffic bureau has set up boards showing the rear end of police cars along the side of the road. The idea is that drivers will spot the boards and, thinking they are real police vehicles, will slow down.

Troll cam

How to Shut Up Politicians In The UK



How to Shut Up Politicians In The UK

"How would the panel react if I said that the first person to speak is an asshole!" 

Email notification troll


1. Enable Email notifications
2. Setup Email forward in Gmail and Enter victim's Facebook email (fbusername@facebook.com)
3. ?????
4. Profit

Troll dad on HoLOLween

Trollmegle



They couldn't really escape that question

IRL Troll: How to Creep People Out

  1. Have your children walk home from school (with backpacks)
  2. Wait until they come near two elderly women on the sidewalk
  3. Drive up in your car
  4. Swing open the passenger door
  5. Ask your own children, "Hey, kids, want some candy?"
  6. Watch the horrified looks on the women's faces as your kids climb in and you drive off.

Google Plus Troll: The Last Day

how to troll family and friends using Google +. step 1. randomly divide everyone you know into two separate circles. post to circle 1 that you got an awesome new job. post to circle 2 that you just contracted some disease. post  to your extended circles that tomorrow is my last day. watch resulting comment battle between the two groups

IRL Troll: How To Confuse A Random Stranger (The Coma)

gather a few willing people ( no more than 3, including yourself)target a random stranger. in oder, over the course of the day have each person bump into them and say the follong. Wake up, you are in a coma, this isnt real life after saying your phrase walk away and pretend it never happened

Facebook troll: Identity theft

Step 1 : Find a friend who you usually communicate with on facebook Step 2 : Change your name and profile picture to theirs Step 3 : Let the trolling begin

Facebook troll: Fake bible quotes


All Tumblr meme faces: Part 3

Click to open an image in a new tab
 
well this is awkward

The face you are looking for is not here? See here
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