I'M COMIC SANS,
ASSHOLE.
Listen up. I know
the shit you've been saying behind my back. You think I'm stupid. You think I'm
immature. You think I'm a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think
again, nerdhole, because I'm Comic Sans, and I'm the best thing to happen to
typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.
You don't like
that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the
break room fridge? You don't like that I'm all over your sister-in-law's blog?
You don't like that I'm on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I'm
pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don't all have seventy-three
weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros.
Sorry the entire world can't all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry
some people like to have fun. Sorry I'm standing in the way of your minimalist
Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black
turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck
up for once.
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