ANARCHISM: You have two cows. You steal your neighbor’s bull and ignore the government.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government makes you register them.  You fill in 17 forms in triplicate and don’t have time to milk them.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The cows outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products. You go bankrupt.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. You let them do what they want.

PACIFISM: You have two cows. They stampede you.

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one of them and gives it to your neighbor.

REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

You know you live in a police state when the president orders the assassination (i.e., murder) of American citizens without bothering to arrest them and bring them to trial.

You know you live in a police state when police forces across the country attack unarmed and non-violent citizen protesters with pepper spray and clubs.

You know you live in a police state when the president allows the military to continuously harass a prisoner against whom no crime has been proven by interrupting him every five minutes of the day to ask him, "Are you okay?" and forces him to stand to attention naked at roll call. What it can do to one man it can do to every man.

You know you live in a police state when said prisoner is barred from exercising in his cell and told where he may and may not put his hands when he goes to sleep at night. Only a police state would dictate how an individual can sleep.

You know you live in a police state when the government punishes, rather than honors, whistle-blowers who reveal its crimes such as the U.S. massacre of civilians in Baghdad that Bradley Manning exposed.

You know you live in a police state when wardens force pregnant women prisoners to deliver their babies while in chains. (Not exactly "the new birth of freedom" of which Abraham Lincoln spoke.)